Monthly Archives of: October 2019

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Was it Something I Said

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I don’t want to live in a big empty house, with big empty walls and big empty things.
I want to live in a house that has laugh lines,
That sags and sways but is waiting for you, day after day with open arms.
I want to live a life full of love and life, joy and heart,
More than being “a great employee,” “a great innovator,” “a great [insert generic noun here],”
I don’t aspire to have statues of myself for strangers to look at some day in the remote infinity of time,
I don’t aspire to have endowments.
I want to be with friends and family. 
I want to be remembered through the hearts of people whose lives I’ve had the joy of sharing. 
I want to have fun; laughing, sharing stories, hugging, playing. 
I want to work, too, but not for the sake of securing approval and having status, but for the sake of contributing to something that is worthwhile, that means something!  (And I guess, that *also* includes making infinite jiaozi)
I want to be someone I would’ve admired when I was a kid, when I was a naive college idealist with my head and heart in the clouds, when I’m looking back at my life, wondering where all the time went. 
I want desperately, more than anything, not to waste this life; to have the courage and wisdom to know how to not waste this life.
I want this!
And this,
And this,
And this,
Because this, even in its most abstract, is what feels real.