I’m in a general state of existential malaise right now, so am posting this as my Jan. 22nd/23rd mood picture. More specifically, it really just makes me wanna cuddle up in bed and eat myself slowly into numbness while listening to music that makes me feel unnaturally inspired/depressed at the same time. I just moved two weeks ago to New York, which is why I’ve been neglecting you (:( <<that’s a frowny face but with the parentheses risks being mistaken for someone in a toupe) and have thus been in a relatively constant state of shock, producing clashing feelings of invincibility/high energy and also complete insignificance/lethargy (I guess we are in the big city, right?). But tonight, rest assured, it all flooded out like an unstoppable vomit–a true rush of feelings with unabated urgency and tears and sorrow and happiness as I acknowledged for the first time since I’ve moved some of my feelings about leaving home, what home is, what love is, and similar pre-mid-post teen angst (of which I’m pretty sure I’m the latter BUT is still to be determined) to the closest friends I have on this spherical, floating planet. And now, feeling the true satisfaction of any good catharsis, I’m exhausted and am ready to lay in bed to await being dragged under. But I wanted to say hi…share (a synopsis of) my thoughts to accompany one of my brother’s photos taken on his trip to San Francisco/Portland/West Coast (i.e. WHERE was this picture taken, DD?!). Expect more photos, feelings, and love to come.
Goodnight and certainly always good luck,